Slave suchaniceboy

with a lot of things going on in his life outside his kink, the slave asked to pause from full ownership while he manages some significant work and other things. he was sad to do this but he knows he has to manage his mental health and do proper justice to his owner.

In the meantime he begged for permission to buy some sessions with Mistress Kazimiera to enable him to maintain submission as life currently allows.

the Mistress told him to fuck his dildo after smearing it in Tabasco, and then clean it off afterwards. he did this... A whole new kind of discomfort for him. but he also fucked up, inadvertently deleting the video file before successfully sending it. Of course the penalty for this is to have to go through the pain and discomfort again.

The slave is humbly grateful to Mistress Kazimiera both for Her cruelty and also Her understanding that the slave is sometimes prevented by other circumstances (he has a job which is often pressured) from being able to make a worthy job of giving himself adequately to full ownership). he intends to beg for resumption as soon as he can, and of course he is not entitled to his own pleasurable release because the Mistress told him firmly that this was not allowed until She permitted. 

the slave was really feeling horny today. it made him fully aware of the power of orgasm denial. in his "normal" life when not owned, the slave has always had regular orgasms almost every day (often several a day) right back to when he first could. Why not? It's an amazing feeling that's available free of charge.... a happy sensation, fun and easy to seek, that's wonderful if shared but still pretty bloody awesome when done privately. 

Control of this is an obvious form of domination. if a slave is owned, what right do they have to autonomously deciding to give themself the most obvious and fundamental form of sexual pleasure? 

This slave has been denied once before in a ten day chastity session, controlled online by a dominant. that was the longest time he had ever gone without an orgasm. he wore a chastity cage which prevented orgasm and was tight enough to suppress erections. Except for a few uncomfortable moments at night, this lack of the ability to get hard seemed to make things easier, squashing that feeling of horniness. The ritual of device wearing... The constant reminder that wearing the device gave (and the feeling that someone might see its outline) was an experience, but the chastity itself was easier than the slave expected (though he gained some admiration and sympathy for true long term cage wearers).

But when the denial is enforced without the cage... Purely psychological with no physical barrier to block temptation, it becomes a matter of real obedience and pressure. With a hard cock, it's just so easy to find a quiet moment and indulge. The erections still happen, the urge builds in a faster and more profound way. It's different, and this slave thinks it's harder. But he is resolute: what's the point in being sneaky, breaking that trust? There's often an assumption that denial means device (even the chastity challenge here on slave market mandates daily checks of the slave's cage) but this slave feels that real submission should not need that physical control method. it's the mind that really submits

he is here to serve, and accepted ownership above simple tasks, so what would be the point of opting out for such selfish and unsubmissive motives?

the slave is approaching two weeks of ownership by Mistress Kazimiera. As he expected he has been pushed hard, with difficult "big" tasks but also daily obligations to worship, perform body writing reminding him that he is "Kazi's Toilet", and do two tasks of his own devising that show sufficient submissiveness to Her.

These daily tasks feel important. this is not just a few moments of intense play, but a part of this slave's life. he is busy with work and other commitments but it means he has to think about his submissive side more often... is the current moment an opportunity for a task? is he behind on tasks today?

intensity of this submission is not just from big moments, it is from waking up each day with a "debt" of obligation to pay, even when real life affords limited opportunities. this has been novel for this slave.

the slave completed his sandwich task.

it was as difficult and disgusted as he feared, and the orgasm did not really give him much pleasue. As he writes he is in the long post-task drop... no horniness, just embarrassment and shame.

This is his duty to his Mistress.

Mistress Kazimiera sent the slave a cartoon video today with a character who seems to have no boundaries with shit, as she goes about her day creating havoc with it.

It is jarring to be reminded that this slave performs similarly filthy activities, especially as he does not find it enjoyable like the girl in the video. Such acts, for the slave, involve retching and struggling. For him it is an extreme test, following orders that bring him no pleasure, especially when the Mistress has ordered him to do so in the period right after granting a rather thankless orgasm. Unlike the cartoon woman, for this slave it is a difficult test of humiliation and obedience. Mistress Kazimiera knows this, and - like his daily writing on his body of "Kazi's Toilet" -  the video was a well-aimed reminder of his depths and purpose.

Today, Mistress Kazimiera instructed this slave that when he carries out his next instructed task... which once again involves consuming his filth, he must again add his cum first. this will be his first and only release since the same instruction a week before.

This instruction reiterates that the slave's orgasms are not his own, and not for his pleasure. indeed, the impact of performing disgusting and degrading acts of submission right after cumming is powerful: the sense of "what did i do?" lasts for many hours. The slave must deal with this as it is Her wish.

Each day the slave must document two "ad-hoc" tasks for Mistress Kazimiera, in addition to any actions directly commanded by Her. 

As She put it to the slave, this puts his daily degradation in his own hands. it means he has to find opportunities and use imagination to find ways to demonstrate his service, without the privilege of being told directly what to do by Her. he knows that by devising these acts himself, he makes service a constant thought each day.

The slave has to devise new ways to humiliate, punish or degrade himself. For example, he has used tight clamps on his body (nipples, balls and useless cock), consumed his piss off floors and toilet seats, whacked his balls with a flat hand and a ruler, and used as rubber band to apply pain to his genitals.

he is grateful to the Mistress for her mocking feedback as he carries out these tasks. he knows it is fully deserved.

this slave is continuing his ownership with Mistress Kazimiera after a first week.

She has given him a new name on this site: ScatFreak, which sums up his sordid disgusting nature.

this is the first time the slave has been owned. he has served and performed on an ad-hoc basis before, but this is a different feeling. his duties are always there in his mind each day. there is no "cut off" once things are done... no end game... certainly no release for pleasure. he will obey dutifully and learn each day.

the slave has to perform two ad-hoc tasks each day. this is challenging in a different way to the big tasks demanded by Mistress Kazimiera..  the slave has to imagine what She might find amusing or worthy. as a submissive act this has its own challenge... the slave can not simply wait for direction but must be proactive in thinking of opportunities to demonstrate submission.

today he used a rubber band, flicking it at the head of his useless cock, and drank piss from his cupped hand. 

the slave was again granted an ejaculation today. it's only his second in his current period of service to Mistress Kazimiera, and again he was commanded to do so to make his disgusting waste-eating task more difficult.

the hours after such a task are difficult... challenging the slave's motivation to submit. but this is where the slave must realise that these feelings are self centred. deep submission is not about the slave's pursuit of comfortable feelings, but their obedience.

it is interesting to the slave how little sensation of pleasure there is when orgasming in such circumstances. it is close to being a ruined orgasm... the psychology of what is to come is so powerful.

Another weekend day for the slave today.

he messed up yesterday, failing to complete his daily body writing task.

Mistress Kazimiera made him drink a coffee with piss instead of milk. he drank this in a crowded place, taking his coffee into the rest room to fill it up and then drinking it in the unsuspecting view of others, focused on its meaning... don't fuck up an order from the Mistress. it tasted worse than piss alone... maybe the heat of the coffee brought more bitterness out. 

the slave must try harder.

A single stone.

it is a busy weekend day for the slave, with lots of real life things needing to be done, out and about.

Mistress Kazimiera commanded him to walk all day with a stone in his shoe. it is increasingly painful as the day goes on, a constant reminder to the slave that regardless of what he is doing today, he is under Her command. it is not sexual, not pushing taboos, not intruding into the realm of others. But it is there, because She says it must be.

Today, Mistress Kazimiera asked this slave to reflect on ego.

he realises he was egotistical in building his own expectations of how the control of his orgasms might proceed. in supposing that his directed release might be his last for a while, and imagining dealing with that, he was centering himself in this situation - trying to act smart and guess her intentions, perhaps with an element of self-congratulaton if his prediction turned out correct.

this thinking is not appropriate for this submission. what comes next is not for him to presuppose.

For today's first task, the slave put three strong metal clothes pins on his scrotum to act as a reminder, as the pain built, of the correct way to submit.

As part of this slave's submission, Mistress Kazimiera has taken full control of his orgasms. he must personally regard his cock as non existent. 

Denial of orgasm is something this slave faced with some trepidation. orgasms feel good. the slave craves them. they've been an easy source of pleasure and relief for him for decades. he has experienced denial for weeks before and it is powerful - a constant and escalating desire that can not be addressed.

But yesterday, when Mistress ordered him to cum before performing a particularly degrading task, this was harsher still. 

the slave did some reading. the buildup to the male orgasm causes a whole bunch of hormones to increase: dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and more. but with ejaculation, there's a crash. what is glibly described as "post-nut clarity" is actually a sudden suppression of those hormones... prolactin surges to squash the effect of the dopamine. In evolutionary terms the male is meant to regain focus, set aside desire, not simply repeat with the same sexual partner. Loss of interest is a biological goal... forcing the male to move on, regain his awareness and focus, forget arousal until another time.

By forcing the slave to cum, prior to performing a disgusting task, the Mistress ensured he would lose any benefit of his kink, his fetish, for this highly taboo and challenging play. 

The act was harder for this slave than it has ever been before. the orgasm was presumably big... he had edged before starting the camera to ensure the Mistress was not kept waiting... but the slave does not even remember feeling pleasure when the ejaculation happened. the fear of the next step was real, and - it turned out - fully justified. he got halfway, but his stomach and mind didn't cope. it was his most difficult ever act of submission. it's a truly difficult act at any time, not physically enjoyable but mentally profound. with no arousal to lean on, it's even worse. the slave failed. he's ashamed: obedience alone should be enough.

after that, of course, he had no idea when his next release might be allowed, and found himself thinking he might be facing a significant period of denial... something he felt would be challenging and intense (he is wired to want to cum frequently), but not in the same immediate and overwhelming way

This was a bad and self-centred assumption, driven by the slave being self centred and presumptuous. it is not his right to guess the wishes of his Mistress. that was a failing in his mindset as he has no right to presuppose, just to wait and hear and obey.

The Mistress instead ordered him to repeat the task as soon as he can. 

this pitiful slave is fortunate to be able to announce that he has commenced ownership by the incredible Mistress Kazimiera.

the slave humbly submits to Her commands. he is truly thankful for the level of understanding She has sought about him, and the depths to which his new Owner has already pushed him. She is rightly cruel and harsh on him and his many failures.

As part of his slavery, the slave must:

- remember his place, his depth, his true status as a man, by writing "Kazi's toilet" on his pathetic body each day

- perform two opportune tasks each day of his own devising, suitably showing his willingness to humiliate and degrade himself as a reminder of Her power over him. this gives the slave the opportunity to serve even on days where his external life makes it difficult to do more significant acts of submission

- regard his pathetic cock as no longer existing. he is not permitted pleasure. as someone who previously jerked off often several times daily for his own selfish indulgence, his feelings of chastity and denial are a reminder that it is not appropriate ever autonomously to seek his own pleasure or indulge in it. Only the Mistress can command the slave to masturbate or release. 

- worship the Mistress regularly as a constant reminder of Her

- complete a daily diary entry here to articulate his progression and headspace as a submissive 

this slave accepts that he is not serving for his pleasure or as a part-time diversion but as a constant act of submission.

Today the Mistress has ordered a release: cum onto a plate of his own waste and consume it. This is designed to ensure the slave performs this disgusting and taboo task with no horniness to drive him, leaving only obedience.

Thank You so much Mistress Kazimeira for dominating and owning this disgusting slave.