BDSM Glossary: Kink Terms, Acronyms & Meanings

24/7 dynamic

Also: 24/7 BDSM

A consensual power-exchange relationship intended to continue beyond individual scenes and into daily life. "24/7" describes the agreed structure, not unlimited authority: boundaries and the right to withdraw consent still apply at all times.

Aftercare

The physical or emotional care people agree to give one another after an intense scene or sexual experience. It might include water, reassurance, quiet time, food, warmth, or a later check-in, depending on each person's needs.

Afterdrop

Also: drop

A temporary low mood, fatigue, sensitivity, or emotional dip that some people experience after an intense scene. It can affect any participant and is one reason people discuss aftercare and follow-up in advance.

Ballbusting

A consensual form of genital impact or pain play involving the testicles. Because the area is easily injured, the term describes a higher-risk activity that calls for informed negotiation and specialist safety knowledge.

BDSM

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism

An umbrella term for consensual adult practices and relationships involving restraint, rules, power exchange, intense sensation, or roleplay. People may enjoy one part of BDSM without identifying with every part.

BDSM chat

Also: kink chat

Online conversation focused on kink, BDSM, or negotiated power exchange. It may be social, educational, flirtatious, or part of a remote scene; the purpose and boundaries should be clear before roleplay begins.

BDSM contract

Also: D/s contract, slave contract

A written record of intentions, rules, boundaries, responsibilities, or rituals in a power-exchange relationship. It can support communication but is not blanket consent and may not be legally enforceable.

BDSM task

Also: femdom task, submissive task

A negotiated assignment given within a power-exchange dynamic, such as a ritual, act of service, or personal challenge. A task remains optional and must stay within the submissive's agreed limits, privacy needs, and real-world responsibilities.

Body worship

Consensual attention, praise, or service focused on a partner's body or a particular body part. In power exchange, it can be framed as devotion, ritual, or reward.

Body writing

Writing consensually chosen words or symbols on someone's skin as part of roleplay, ownership symbolism, or humiliation play. Participants should agree on the wording, visibility, material used, and when it will be removed.

Bondage

The consensual restriction of movement using rope, cuffs, clothing, furniture, or other restraints. Bondage can be aesthetic, sensual, sexual, or part of a power exchange, and it requires attention to circulation, nerves, breathing, and release plans.

Bottom

The person who receives an action or sensation during a scene. Bottom is an activity-based role and does not automatically mean submissive; a bottom can retain control over what happens.

Boundary

A personal line that protects someone's physical, emotional, sexual, financial, or privacy needs. Boundaries are set by the person they belong to and do not require another person's approval.

Brat

A submissive or bottom who consensually uses teasing, playful defiance, or mischief as part of a negotiated dynamic. Bratting is a chosen style of interaction, not permission to ignore real boundaries.

Brat tamer

A Dominant or top who enjoys responding to consensual playful defiance. The role works best when both people agree on what counts as play, how it will be answered, and when the roleplay stops.

Breath play

Also: erotic asphyxiation

A high-risk activity involving intentional restriction of breathing. There is no reliably safe way to deprive the brain of oxygen, injuries can occur without warning, and this glossary entry should not be treated as an instruction to attempt it.

CBT

Cock and Ball Torture

In adult BDSM, CBT means consensual sensation, control, or pain play focused on the penis and testicles. It is unrelated to cognitive behavioural therapy in this context and can involve meaningful injury risk.

CEI

Cum Eating Instructions

A consensual adult instruction or roleplay kink in which a Dominant directs what happens with semen after ejaculation. It is often discussed alongside JOI, humiliation, or control, but it always requires advance agreement.

Chastity

Also: erotic chastity

A consensual practice in which access to sexual stimulation or orgasm is limited for an agreed period. Some people use a device and others use rules only; either way, comfort, hygiene, circulation, and the ability to stop matter.

Chastity keyholder

Also: keyholder

A person trusted to manage agreed rules around another adult's erotic chastity, sometimes including control of a device key. A keyholder's authority exists only within the consent, health, access, and emergency terms that were negotiated.

Check-in

A deliberate question or signal used to confirm comfort, consent, or wellbeing before, during, or after an interaction. Check-ins are especially useful when someone is quiet, deeply immersed, remote, or trying something new.

Collar

An item worn around the neck that may be practical, decorative, or symbolic within BDSM. For some people it represents commitment, protection, ownership roleplay, or a particular stage of a relationship; meanings vary and should not be assumed.

Collar of consideration

A symbolic collar that some people use while exploring whether a longer-term power-exchange relationship is a good fit. It is a community custom rather than a universal rule or legal commitment.

Consent

A clear, informed, freely given, specific, and reversible agreement to an activity. Consent to one act, one intensity, or one occasion does not imply consent to anything else, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

Consent violation

An act that goes beyond, ignores, or continues after a person's consent or agreed limits. BDSM language, a relationship title, prior activity, or a written "contract" does not excuse a consent violation.

Cross-dressing

Wearing clothes culturally associated with a gender different from the one someone is usually expected to present. It can be about expression, comfort, performance, kink, or none of those, and it does not determine sexual orientation or gender identity.

Cuckolding

Also: cuckold

A consensual relationship or fantasy dynamic in which one partner is aroused by another partner's sexual attention to someone else. It may include voyeurism or humiliation, but the people involved decide the boundaries and whether the fantasy becomes real.

D/s

Dominance and Submission

A consensual power exchange in which one person takes a Dominant role and another takes a submissive role within negotiated limits. D/s may exist only during scenes or form part of an ongoing relationship.

Degradation

Consensual roleplay built around being treated as lower status, objectified, or demeaned in specifically agreed ways. Because words can have lasting emotional effects, precise limits and aftercare are particularly important.

Discipline

Agreed rules, training, correction, or consequences used within a BDSM dynamic. Discipline differs from abuse because it is negotiated, bounded by consent, and open to review or withdrawal.

Dom

Also: Dominant

A common, gender-neutral shorthand for a person who takes the controlling or directing role in a consensual power exchange. Being a Dom does not remove the responsibility to listen, negotiate, and respect limits.

Dom drop

Also: top drop

An emotional or physical low that a Dominant or top may experience after an intense scene. It can involve fatigue, doubt, sadness, or vulnerability and is a reminder that aftercare can be relevant to every role.

Dominant

Also: Dom

A person who consensually receives a degree of authority or control within a scene or relationship. Dominant is a role rather than a gender, personality type, or automatic claim to authority over others.

Dominatrix

Also: Domme

A woman or feminine-presenting person who takes a Dominant role, often in a femdom context. The word is sometimes used specifically for a professional Dominant, so individuals may prefer Dominant, Domme, Mistress, or another title.

Domme

Also: female Dominant

A title commonly used by a woman or feminine Dominant. It is usually pronounced like "dom" and, like every BDSM title, applies only where the people involved recognise the role.

Dungeon

A private or event space equipped for BDSM scenes. A dungeon may be a professional venue, club area, or room in a home; the name does not change the need to follow consent, hygiene, and venue rules.

Edge play

An umbrella term for activities a person or community considers unusually intense or risky. What counts as edge play varies, so the label is not a safety standard and should prompt more detailed discussion of the actual risks.

Edging

Also: orgasm edging

Repeatedly approaching orgasm and then reducing or stopping stimulation. It may be self-directed or part of consensual orgasm control with a partner.

Electroplay

Also: e-stim, electrostimulation

The consensual use of purpose-built electrical stimulation devices for sensation play. Electricity can interact dangerously with the heart, implants, damaged equipment, or unsuitable body placement, so product-specific safety knowledge is essential.

Enthusiastic consent

A model of consent that looks for a willing, active yes rather than mere silence, passivity, or lack of resistance. A person can be calm rather than visibly excited and still consent; the key is that agreement is freely and clearly given.

EPP

Explicit Prior Permission

A consent framework that emphasises specific permission for BDSM acts and intensity before they occur, together with the ability to stop at any time. It is also a legal-policy term used by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom in the United States.

Erotic humiliation

Also: humiliation play

Consensual arousal or power exchange involving embarrassment, teasing, exposure, or demeaning roleplay. The exact words, audience, privacy limits, and emotional aftercare should be negotiated rather than assumed.

Femdom

Female Domination

BDSM or power exchange centred on a woman or feminine person in the Dominant role. Femdom can describe a single scene, an online dynamic, a relationship, or a broad range of kinks rather than one specific activity.

Femdom chat

Also: Dominatrix chat

Online conversation or roleplay led by a female or feminine Dominant. It can range from getting acquainted to a negotiated remote scene, and people should agree on limits, payment if relevant, recording, and privacy first.

Feminization

Also: feminisation

Consensual roleplay or presentation that emphasises feminine clothing, behaviour, names, or rituals. It may be affirming, playful, erotic, or humiliating depending on the participant's chosen meaning; femininity itself is not inherently degrading.

Fetish

A strong erotic focus on a particular object, material, body part, situation, or idea. In everyday kink language, fetish is often used broadly and does not by itself mean that the interest causes distress or harm.

Findom

Financial Domination

A consensual power-exchange kink involving money, gifts, budgeting rules, or financial tribute. Responsible findom requires explicit spending limits and must not rely on threats, deception, debt pressure, or access to money needed for essentials.

Flogger

An impact-play tool with multiple flexible falls attached to a handle. Materials and construction create different sensations; using any impact tool responsibly requires consent, body-safety knowledge, and controlled intensity.

FLR

Female-Led Relationship

A relationship structure in which partners agree that a woman has greater authority in some or many decisions. An FLR may include BDSM, but it does not have to, and the scope is defined by the people in it.

Foot fetish

An erotic interest in feet, footwear, or foot-related sensations and imagery. It may include admiration, touch, service, or worship, depending on what consenting partners enjoy.

Foot worship

Consensual attention or service focused on a partner's feet, often as an expression of devotion or power exchange. The term can cover visual admiration, massage, kissing, or other specifically agreed acts.

Gag

An item used consensually to limit speech during a scene. Because a gag can affect breathing and remove verbal safewords, participants need an unobstructed airway, an agreed nonverbal safe signal, and active monitoring.

Goddess

An honorific used by some female or feminine Dominants, often in worship or devotion dynamics. It is a chosen relationship title, not a universal synonym for every Dominatrix.

Green / yellow / red

Also: traffic-light safewords

A common safeword system: green usually means continue, yellow means pause or reduce intensity and check in, and red means stop. Partners should confirm their exact meanings before a scene rather than relying on convention.

Hard limit

An activity, word, person, setting, or condition that someone does not consent to. A hard limit is not an invitation to persuade, surprise, test, or "train" the person out of it.

Impact play

Consensual striking for sensation, roleplay, or power exchange, using a hand or an implement such as a paddle or flogger. Intensity, body areas, marks, health factors, and stopping signals should be negotiated.

Informed consent

Agreement made with a realistic understanding of what is proposed, including material risks, intensity, alternatives, and relevant circumstances. Hiding important information prevents consent from being fully informed.

JOI

Jerk-Off Instructions

Consensual adult instructions directing how someone masturbates, often delivered by text, audio, or video. JOI may involve praise, teasing, orgasm control, or humiliation within agreed limits.

Keyholder

A person entrusted with control of a key or the rules in an erotic chastity arrangement. The role is a responsibility with agreed limits, not ownership of the other person's body or permanent control of access.

Kink

A broad term for erotic interests, relationship styles, fantasies, or practices outside what a person considers conventional. Kink is subjective: the same interest may feel ordinary to one person and kinky to another.

Leather

A material, aesthetic, and set of communities with important roots in modern BDSM history. Leather culture can include identity, service, mentorship, titles, protocols, clubs, and traditions, but practices vary widely.

Limit

A boundary around what someone is willing to do, how intensely, with whom, where, or under what conditions. Limits can change, but only the person whose limit it is decides whether to revisit it.

M/s

Master/Slave

A consensual power-exchange relationship in which people use Master and slave roles and may negotiate broad authority, service, or protocols. The language describes an adult role and does not cancel autonomy, legal rights, or the ability to withdraw consent.

Masochism

Enjoyment of receiving consensual pain, intensity, humiliation, or discomfort. In BDSM, the desired experience and its meaning matter; unwanted pain or degradation is not masochism.

Masochist

A person who enjoys receiving some forms of consensual pain, intense sensation, or humiliation. The label does not mean they enjoy every kind of pain or waive the need for negotiation.

Master

A title used by some Dominants in ongoing or high-structure power-exchange relationships. Capitalisation and gender vary by community, and the title carries only the authority that consenting partners have agreed to.

Mistress

A title used by some female or feminine Dominants. In BDSM it refers to a chosen power-exchange role and does not necessarily carry the non-kink meaning of a secret romantic partner.

Munch

A casual social gathering for kink-interested adults, often held in an ordinary public venue without BDSM play. Munches let people meet the local community, but attendance never implies romantic or sexual interest.

Negotiation

Also: scene negotiation

The conversation in which participants discuss interests, limits, risks, health considerations, roles, privacy, safewords, and aftercare before play. Negotiation is not a one-time waiver: consent still needs to be monitored throughout.

Nipple play

Consensual stimulation or sensation focused on the nipples, ranging from gentle touch to more intense play. Sensitivity, desired marks, equipment, and duration should be discussed because tissue damage is possible.

Ongoing consent

The principle that consent is checked and maintained as an interaction continues rather than treated as permanently settled at the beginning. A yes can become a no, a pause, or a request to change course at any time.

Online Dominant

Also: online Dom, online Dominatrix

A Dominant who conducts some or all of a power exchange remotely through messages, calls, tasks, or connected tools. Good online domination includes identity and payment clarity, privacy agreements, realistic emergency planning, and the same consent standards as in-person play.

Online domination

Also: remote domination, virtual domination

Consensual power exchange carried out partly or entirely at a distance. It may use chat, video, tasks, rituals, orgasm control, or other negotiated activities without requiring an in-person meeting.

Online submissive

Also: online sub

A person who explores a negotiated submissive role through digital communication or remote activities. Online submission does not require sharing legal identity, financial access, intimate media, or any other information outside agreed boundaries.

Orgasm control

A consensual dynamic in which one person follows agreed rules about when, how, or whether they may orgasm. It can include edging, permission, denial, or ruined orgasms and may be practised in person or online.

Orgasm denial

Also: tease and denial

Consensually delaying or withholding orgasm for a negotiated time. It may be playful, disciplinary, devotional, or part of chastity, but the duration and ability to stop remain subject to consent.

Ownership

Also: consensual ownership

A symbolic power-exchange model in which adults use owner and owned roles. It is a consensual relationship structure, not legal ownership of a person, and it cannot remove anyone's rights or ability to leave.

Pegging

Anal penetration of a partner with a strap-on dildo, most commonly used for a woman penetrating a man though people use the term more broadly. It is not inherently dominant or submissive; those meanings depend on the people involved.

Pet play

Consensual roleplay in which someone takes on qualities of an animal or pet and another person may act as handler, owner, or trainer. The roles are performed by adults and can be playful, nurturing, structured, or erotic.

Play party

A private event where consenting adults may socialise and engage in BDSM scenes under venue rules. Being present, watching, dressing a certain way, or having played before never substitutes for asking permission.

Power exchange

Also: PE

A consensual arrangement in which one person gives another a defined degree of authority. The exchange can be temporary or ongoing and may cover a narrow activity or multiple parts of daily life.

PRICK

Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink

A BDSM safety framework that emphasises knowing the risks, communicating informed consent, and taking responsibility for one's choices. Like SSC and RACK, it is a conversation tool rather than a guarantee that an activity is safe.

Pro-Domme

Also: professional Dominatrix, professional Dominant

A professional who provides negotiated domination services to clients. Services, legal boundaries, pricing, screening, and whether any sexual contact occurs vary by provider and location and must never be assumed.

Protocol

An agreed rule or formality within a power-exchange dynamic, such as a greeting, posture, title, or routine. Protocol can be light or highly structured and applies only in the contexts the participants have chosen.

Punishment

A negotiated consequence used in some BDSM dynamics after an agreed rule is broken. Consensual punishment is bounded by limits and care; it should not be confused with uncontrolled anger, retaliation, coercion, or abuse.

RACK

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

A BDSM framework that asks participants to identify material risks, make informed choices, and consent to the specific kink involved. It recognises that "safe" is not an absolute label and does not excuse avoidable harm or ignored consent.

Restraint

Any consensual restriction of movement, including being held, tied, cuffed, wrapped, or instructed to remain still. Restraint requires a quick-release plan and attention to position, circulation, nerves, temperature, and breathing.

Rope bondage

Bondage that uses rope for restraint, sensation, connection, or visual design. Even floor-based rope can injure nerves or circulation, and suspension adds substantial risk that requires specialist education and practice.

S&M

Sadism and Masochism

Consensual giving and receiving of pain, intense sensation, or humiliation for pleasure or meaning. S&M is one part of the broader BDSM umbrella and does not necessarily involve dominance and submission.

Also: SM, S/M

Sadism

Enjoyment of giving consensual pain, intense sensation, or humiliation. In BDSM, sadism is bounded by the receiver's consent and is not the same as enjoying unwanted suffering.

Sadist

A person who enjoys giving certain forms of consensual pain, intensity, or humiliation. The label does not create consent or mean the person wants every kind of sadistic play.

Safe call

Also: safecall

A prearranged check-in with a trusted person before, during, or after meeting someone, often with agreed action if the check-in is missed. It is a practical personal-safety measure, especially for first meetings.

Safe signal

Also: nonverbal safeword

A gesture or action agreed in advance to pause or stop a scene when speech may be difficult or impossible. Examples must be chosen for the actual position and abilities of the participant, and the signal must remain observable.

Safeword

Also: safe word

A word or phrase agreed in advance to communicate pause, adjustment, or stop during a scene. A safeword supports consent but does not replace active attention; if someone appears unable to respond or in distress, the activity should stop.

Scene

A bounded period of BDSM play or roleplay with a recognisable beginning and end. A scene may be sexual or nonsexual and is usually discussed beforehand through negotiation.

Self-bondage

Restraining oneself without an active partner present. It carries extra danger because there may be no one to respond to panic, circulation problems, equipment failure, or a failed release, so being alone materially increases the risk.

Sensation play

Play focused on touch, temperature, texture, sound, pressure, or other sensory experiences. It can be gentle or intense, and the risks depend on the tools, body areas, and sensations chosen.

Service submission

Also: service-oriented submission

A submissive style centred on consensually performing useful acts, rituals, or care for a Dominant. Service may be domestic, ceremonial, personal, or digital and should fit the capacities and boundaries of both people.

Shibari

Also: kinbaku, Japanese-inspired rope bondage

A term commonly used outside Japan for Japanese-inspired rope bondage, with an emphasis that may include connection, aesthetics, structure, or eroticism. Terminology and traditions are debated, and competent rope safety remains more important than the label.

Sissy training

Also: sissification

Consensual adult feminization roleplay structured through tasks, clothing, language, or rituals, often within femdom. The word "sissy" should be self-chosen or explicitly agreed because it can feel affirming to some people and insulting to others.

Slave (consensual BDSM)

Also: BDSM slave

An adult who chooses a highly submissive or service-focused role, often in an M/s dynamic. It is a consensual identity or relationship title, not legal ownership, forced labour, or permission to violate someone's rights.

Soft limit

Something a person may be hesitant about or willing to consider only under specific conditions. It is still a limit: unless the person gives a clear yes to the specific proposal, the answer is no.

Spanking

Consensual striking of the buttocks with a hand or implement for sensation, roleplay, or discipline. Desired intensity, marks, body areas, and emotional meaning should be discussed rather than assumed.

SSC

Safe, Sane and Consensual

A widely used BDSM principle encouraging safety knowledge, sound judgement, and consent. "Safe" and "sane" are not guarantees or perfectly objective labels, so participants still need to discuss specific risks and personal circumstances.

Strap-on play

Also: strap-on

Sexual or BDSM play involving a dildo or other attachment worn with a harness or held against the body. The act does not determine anyone's gender, orientation, or power role.

Sub frenzy

Also: new-sub frenzy

Community slang for the rush of excitement that can lead a newer submissive to take on too much, too quickly, or trust before vetting. It is a reminder to slow down, learn, maintain outside support, and protect ordinary life commitments.

Subdrop

Also: sub drop

A temporary emotional or physical low that some submissives or bottoms experience after intense play. Feelings can include fatigue, sadness, irritability, or vulnerability and may appear immediately or later.

Submissive

Also: sub

A person who consensually gives another person a defined degree of control in a scene or relationship. Submissive is a chosen role or identity, not a synonym for weak, passive, inferior, or available to everyone.

Subspace

Community slang for an altered, absorbed, or euphoric state some submissives or bottoms report during intense play. A person in subspace may communicate differently, so it should not be treated as a good time to negotiate new activities.

Switch

A person who enjoys more than one side of a BDSM role, such as Dominant and submissive or top and bottom. They may switch by partner, activity, scene, or mood.

Tease and denial

Also: T&D

Consensual arousal combined with delaying or withholding release. The practice often overlaps with edging, orgasm control, or chastity and can take place in person or remotely.

Top

The person performing an action in a BDSM scene, such as tying, striking, or directing a sensation. Top describes what someone is doing and does not necessarily mean they are Dominant.

Topping from the bottom

A sometimes-critical phrase for a bottom or submissive who tries to direct a scene in ways that conflict with an agreed dynamic. It should never be used to shame someone for communicating needs, using a safeword, or correcting a consent problem.

TPE

Total Power Exchange

A relationship model in which adults negotiate very broad Dominant authority and submissive responsibility. "Total" is an aspirational relationship term, not literal or legal: consent, autonomy, safety, and the ability to leave remain.

Training

Also: submissive training, slave training

A negotiated process for learning rituals, skills, habits, positions, or protocols in a BDSM dynamic. Ethical training has clear goals and limits and does not erase the learner's agency.

Vanilla

Informal kink-community language for sex, relationships, or activities considered conventional or non-kinky. The term is relative and should not be used to imply that one style is less valid or interesting.

Vetting

Taking reasonable steps to assess a potential partner or professional before meeting or playing, such as checking identity, references, consistency, boundaries, and community reputation. Vetting can reduce uncertainty but cannot guarantee safety.

Warm-up

A gradual beginning that helps participants assess comfort, response, and readiness before increasing intensity. The appropriate warm-up depends on the activity and does not make a risky activity safe by itself.

Wax play

Consensual temperature play involving melted wax on the skin. Different candles burn at very different temperatures, and burns, allergies, hair, eyes, and cleanup all require informed planning.

Yes / No / Maybe list

A discussion worksheet that helps people identify interests, limits, and topics needing more conversation. It is a starting point for negotiation, not permanent consent to every item marked yes.