Slave Bella_the_toy

Dan 29. Stability.  Life falls in to a stable routine. My cock is caged, completing the challenge was a good feeling that mistress rewarded me with a release, the biggest one I can remember. But my cage now feels normal. My sexual desire is now low, I don’t think of touching myself any more. Daily anal training feels nice. Daily tasks are good, some are hard, some are unpleasant but pleasing mistress is all that matters. 

Mistress is explicit and has high standards that I hope to meet. Part of that is to lose some weight. Dieting and exercise are a daily challenge now. 

Life feels natural and normal. Pleasing mistress is a constant thought. I know life will not stay comfortable. But happy to be owned but an intelligent mistress 

Day 20. Pain. After 5 days or roasting heat, the temperature cooled. Today’s surrender now was the hardest and most painful I have done! It still hurts 6 hours later, and will for a time to come. I focus on this pain as it makes me happy, I feel happy I can suffer for my mistress. I know more pain and suffering is to come. This is the game we play and the roll I desire. 

The temperature dropping means my worm is no longer in a sauna cage, back to a normal temperature desire returned. Mistress has promised a fun day next Friday after my challenge is complete.  But only if I’m a good boy. I will try my best every day to be good and earn the reward. The challenge ends on 4 days, chastity will not of that I’m certain 

Day 18.  Still too hot. For 3 days record temperatures have been experienced. This temperature has reduced my desires, though chastity remains hot and sweaty it feels normal. Just over halfway I’m now used to not worm. My porn watching is now 0 but thoughts of mistress are constant 

Day 16. Hot. These days the weather has been too warm. The cock cage is like a sauna, my worm ia constantly sweating. But the personal urge and desire has almost gone. Replaced with an alarm every hour to worship mistress. To start each day with a surrender now. 

Life feels calm with the devotion to mistress. 

Day 14, wow time moves fast! the temperature has risen and my cage feels sweaty but desire feels lower now.  I'm feeling calm in chastity, the morning pain is part of me life now, lets me think of mistress as I wake up (this doesn't help me calm down though), before sleep I send mistress a video of me spanking my ass with a belt.  constantly I think of mistress, hope I can make her happy. 

it will be warm tonight, so sleeping in only a cage to stay cool.  the weather will get warmer, it will be hard to stay cool for the next few days. 

Day 13 of my diary and day 3 of chastity challenge. Today felt normal to be in chastity as it was familiar places and safety. But the warm weather makes me feel hot and bothered down there.  A new level of discomfort. A constant reminder of chastity for mistress. 

The feeling down there is helped by panties. I’ve the past month I have fallen for the feeling of wearing women’s panties. Bikini style is nice, a thing is ok as it slides up my ass cheeks. But a nos pair of Brazilian cut panties leaves a constant feeling on my ass cheeks. Makes me feel like a slut. Make me feel good. 

Day 13. Change. This morning brought a hard feeling after only 1 night into the chastity challenge. A painful awakening to warm weather and a surrender now challenge that worried me. I did the challenge and left for work. My cage seemed to weigh a ton and feel unbelievably heavy. All morning the constant dull ache of the cage was present. 

Lunch time brought a calm. Somehow the cage felt lighter but present. The feeling of being owned suddenly felt comfortable. This knowledge swept through me and being owned by mistress was my happy place. 

Drinking with friends in the pub but thinking of mistress all night was good. Knowing in now sit down to pee was a change bit it’s who I am. I’m owned and I like it. 

Getting home I miss Mistress. I know she is there and controlling me. I put my butt plug in, minimum of 3 hours tonight! I meditate thinking of my caged cock, my ass stretching and my devotion to mistress growing. 

Day 12 supplemental. Meditating before bed I wanted to record my thoughts. The end of day 1 of the chastity challenge and reality feels heavy. 

When I first tried chastity with another mistress I felt nervous to lose the keys or to be noticed. Whilst I slept in chastity I would often cheat when I wanted to pee normally or sleep well or have a release as my old mistress never felt real and had no way to check I was actually being good. 

Tonight my mistress is real and powerful. I want to make her proud as my challenge is public so other slaves and mistresses will know how I perform and if I fail I will fail mistress and myself. I feel the security tag against my skin and know there is no cheating. As I look to fall asleep my mind thinks of making mistress proud and completing this challenge. 

Nights will get harder than tonight. But I’m determined to make mistress proud and be a good toy. 

Day 12, purpose! Finding my purpose for mistress in earning her fame and supporting her bring me joy. Looking at how to get more fame I realised that as I’m in chastity already I should ask to do the challenge.  

This morning I know I would ask mistress permission to do the challenge. After being a horny slut yesterday I woke up in agony from morning wood, where my erection in the cage was trying to rip my balls off. Knowing this made me determined to ask mistress permission to be locked up for the challenge 

Mistress agreed to 15 days. I attached the lock and security tag to make sure I can’t cheat. Writing this now I feel my excitement in the cage grow knowing that there will be no pleasure for my worm for at least 15 days. 

Thank you mistress for training me and giving me purpose 

Day 11. A slut. Today I feel like a slut. A surrender now task required me to beg to be fucked in the ass, before riding a dildo for a minute. I know mistress would only accept me riding my largest dildo, is I warmed my ass with the smaller ones. Before begging to be fucked and then riding the dildo the hardest I ever had. It felt so good, to dildo deep inside me, deeper than ever before and knowing mistress would watch me. The pleasure and shame. 

On completing the surrender now mistress rewarded me with playing with my balls for a minute. Such a happy reward. 

Then it was my task from mistress. Vibrating butt plug in full and a vibrator for my balls and cage. Video for mistress. I forgot I was recording and let myself enjoy the vibrations. Fucking thin air as I’m so desperate no, the vibrations are good to arrouse but not to get me over the edge. In the end just frustration and pleasure. 

Bella the toy was left feeling embarrassed, horny, shame and alone. Hoping Mistress will be happy with her toy today. 

Day 9. Owned and caged. Today happily mistress accepted me, I’m now owned and renamed. It feels good. Thank you mistress 

the message is clear I’m now property, a toy. The toy has a name but is just a toy. This toy now has purpose and confidence. 

The toy is now permanently caged. The constant physical reminder of ownership. The toys purpose is to provide fun, in the form of daily surrender now tasks for mistress. 

Tonight is sleep as property for the first time. 

Day 8 - release! as a reward for being good and trying my best in the tasks Mistress granted the reward of filming myself cum onto a plate and eating it.  felt good to release for mistress, knowing that she thinks I did well.  I'm hoping that I can continue to serve her, but that will be her choice.  tonight I will sleep well, feeling calm and happy in my performance

Day 7.  two thought fill my meditation.  firstly, a healthy and happy slave is a good slave.  caring for myself is important, be healthy, controlled and sensible.  there is pain, suffering and hurt, bur making sure there is recovery stays important for the next session, as a toy you never know when the next play time may come. 

next thought is choice and intelligence.  what I want in a domme is Intelligence.  What I want to bring is intelegence.  not to think and question my mistress, but to undertake all tasks and generally holding myself to a high standard, where I can take pride how I hold myself and do the task.  obedience is not without a brain, obey and do my best at all aspects.  So as I come to 7 days here on slave market, i finish 7 day service to Mistress I think about ownership and how to choose if and by who I will be owend by and what that means.  Intelligence is what i find attractive, intelligence is  true power and so this is what I hope to find and how to grow around intelegence.

Day 6.  Tranquillity and uncertainty. Today i reflect on doing a surrender challenge, balancing a cup of fresh pee only head, trying to balance the cup, some spilling on my head and down my face but accepting the challenge without hesitation. Completing it felt good. Being seen by a stranger now feels normal. I feel relaxed in the challenge and knowing clothes and standing are no longer for me.  

The simplicity of being hobbled and folding clothes for mistress brings me calm feeling. Easy feelings.  Focusing on folding the clothes well and not rushing. Detail and focus on the task to bring happiness and tranquility. Being with mistress has felt so good, being rewarded and hearing her voice was so happy. I hope she is happy 

uncertainty follows. Tomorrow is day 7. Will there be more days to come? Who knows, as I think before the future is not mine to decide. What I can and must decide is who, who will shape and mould me into the slave they want me to be. Maybe I will have little choice, or face a hard choice of who to trust and grow with. This is for the future   

Tonight I lie in bed. Feel the cage around me feeling happy and relaxed 

Day 5, meditation felt hard today as i stopped to meditate my mind went to my frustration, having edged 4 times in the last 24 hours before being caged again I thought about my mistresses control, this brought me calm and let me focus on relaxing into meditation.  knowing that giving up control over my cumming and pleasuring myself for mistress is a good feeling.

focus remains on constancy, obedience and  finding ways to please mistress 

Day 4, today i freshly shaved my balls and rubbed toothpaste onto by ball sack - the burning built as i thought of my mistress.  washing the toothpaste off left a minty fresh feeling, reminding me of mistress.  As a reward i was allowed to take my cage off, touching myself and getting hard for the first time in days, allowing me to edge but no more and sending a video, sharing myself feels normal now as the lack of privacy is something I accept and cherish my mistress looking at me. 

the quiet time spent contemplating keeps me feeling calm and balanced not rushing into anything, but enjoying the steady process.  

Day 3, execution. Today’s meditation focuses on execution. My priority is my mistress, to make sure I do what’s expected of me in a timely manor and not rush or neglect the important things that are key to my submission. Thinking of Mistress is not enough without doing it. 

In the future I will me more focused and disciplined 

Day 2, brings further reflections.  the day started with a task from Goddess, she asked for furniture poses, I felt happy to relax into the positions feeling inert and still, feeling a desire to please Mistress.  Further discussions brought 2 topics of thought.  The first was inevitable - chastity - no longer controlling my worm or ability to goon was always likely to happen and accepting the cold metal cage feels like a constant reminder of Mistress and her power, reassuring that submission has both physical and mental form.  

The second thought that I will get tasks I don't like, don't enjoy and feel nervous for is part of the process and reality.  meditating on this thought makes me reflect on not worrying or imagining what cannot be controlled but focusing on what can be controlled.  I have control over choosing this reality, of approaching everything positively, knowing that the greatest pleasure is knowing my Mistress is satisfied and happy.  meditating on this lets me reflect that I believe that Mistress will not harm me or cross my defined hard limits, so I will accept all tasks and perform to the best of my ability each day

My first diary post... I joined this site to explore my submissive nature, where I want to let go of control and obey.  reading posts and trying alone has taken me so far, however, having real accountability and not be able to cheat a mistress who is not interested and discipline and control but money as is common online is easy.  whilst I am submissive and seek to comply, having real checks is important. 

undertaking my first task for a mistress and my first surrender was exciting, stripping naked and filming myself feels easy, but to tie my ball and pull a chair was painful, and thought I would rip my balls off, but to complete it and send the video felt good.  

today is the start, a good start.  as i kneel naked thinking about this post, i realise not knowing whats next is exciting