Slave FoxySwitch

Self-motivation is a nightmare for me. 

Honestly, some things I just can't motivate myself on... losing weight is one of them. It's fucking hard.

So, I've toyed with it before but decided to try building kink into my weight loss plans and Mistress HellCat was happy to help - following a little negotiation.

Turns out that even with the regular motivation provided by Mistress HC <3 it was still a bit easier to fall off the wagon than I'd expected ... oops.

Good we agreed some punishments in advance then... right? Right?

Well I guess, though now I get the live the consequences of my overly horney and surprisingly ingenious mind alongside that of 'The Queen of Mean' Mistress HellCat. 

For the next 7 days * yay * I get to eat all the foods I dislike for all my meals other than dinner. So that's lots of grains I really dislike - bulger wheat, quinoa, and some delightful additions like ginger and chilli. 

Let's hope that this teaches me a lesson and I stay on the straight and narrow afterwards.. as honestly, the other punishments on the agreed list aren't exactly any more fun.

That being said, if it helps me to achieve a goal I've struggled with for literal decades, then surely it's going to be worth it, and despite the fact I might be cursing a little under my breath over the next week, I am grateful I've got Mistress HellCat on the journey with me - I'm sure she's finding this a lot funnier than I am... and so she should.

For my second diary entry I'm going to write about another task from Mistress Hellcat that I found surprisingly exciting and certainly pushed my boundaries a bit. 

I was challenged to place a key to a door (car, house etc) in a glass, restrain my ankles and wrists behind my back, before blindfolding myself. I then had to retrieve the keys and open the door before freeing myself. There was a catch though, the key was to be filled with rice, ketchup, mayonnaise and chocolate sauce... on top of the glass a bowl of water would rest. I seriously considered chickening out. Although I do have a slight fetish for mud, I was scared about where to do it, the mess it'd make, and indeed getting myself free. 

But once again I realised I'd signed up to this, and Mistress Hellcat had respected my limits and pushed them a bit as I'd asked... I decided to persevere. Living where I do there aren't many private areas but I decided a small area of my back garden was quite secluded and if I placed our sun umbrella on the floor I'd be mostly hidden except when standing up... I set up my phone's camera (naturally Mistress Hellcat wanted to watch the result) and dropped my back door key (a door which I'd just locked) in the glass, I filled the glass with rice to 1/5, then with chcolate sauce, mayonaise and ketchup. It honestly looked disgusting and again I considered chickening out. 

But they key was already covered so I was going to make a mess regardless... I pushed myself onwards. I put the glass in the center of the patio and placed the bowl of water on top. I'd already bound my ankles together with some rope and had made some makeshift cuffs from rope too. I pulled on my blindfold and was dropped into darkness. At this stage I still hadn't committed, I still needed to connect my rope wrist cuffs. In the interest of safety (no one else home) I decided to use my timer padlock, set to 15 minutes. That way I could get free if anything went wrong. 

I clicked it shut. 

What ensued over the next 5-10 minutes was me flailing around on the ground like a fish, desperately trying to find the key, ketchupy, mayonaisey, chocolatey rice went everywhere. Sadly i managed to attach the padlock to the knot of my wrist cuff so my wrist did come free early, but having already felt the key I decided to persevere keeping my arms held together. Having the cuffs come apart was a shame as it did ruin the effect and it might have made it easier to get out. But Mistress Hellcat was still glad with the resulting video. I was covered in the rice mixture on my back and arse, and the patio was a mess I had to clean up later on but the thrill was huge.

Would I be seen by a peeping neighbour, would I get the key, how would I deal with it all. I'm somewhat humiliated to say I was hard throughout, the excitement was palpable. It was so different to anything I've done before and it was rewarding to be told it was 'really fun to watch' by Mistress Hellcat.

So I guess the moral is, remain open to new experiences as you never know what you'll enjoy, oh and always have a backup plan, just in-case. Maybe we'll try this challenge again in the next four weeks though, with my arms properly bound together so I definitely can't cheat ;)

As this is the first entry in this diary, it's probably best to start with a little background.

I'm a 30 something male from the UK (ASL anyone >.>), and I identify as a switch. In my personal life I have a wonderul partner who's mostly my submissive, but I'm not able to indulge my submissive side much as we'd agreed to limit physical relationships to one another.

On top of this I'm a lover of petplay, animalistic behaviours, getting to revel in all the lovely toys, and using it as a way of exploring other kinks and fetishes, whether it's tail plugs or as a fun excuse to use restraints on the wild animal within.

I very recently struck an agreement with Goddess HC (who I'll refer to as Mistress Hellcat going forward) for 4 weeks of online petplay fun. Foxy petplay fun that is, as I guess my wild inner animal is a fox.

I think it would be fair to say I wasn't toally sure what this would involve exactly, but Mistress Hellcat certainly asked enough questions and came across as very realistic, so we got going. What follows is a summary of the third task I was set by Mistress Hellcat.

"Find a private and quiet place to take a video of yourself walking and exploring nature, 'go hunting'" My first reaction was actually one of relief as I'd seen two accompanying message "Btw if you don't find any place, you can do it somewhere at your own place. That's ok."

It's nice to see a sence of realism in tasks sent to subs. There is a part of my that would love to go out dressed as a fox with bodypaint on and a tailplug and spend half an hour shooting a video trying (and failing) to hunt. But living where I do, that's not realisitc, I can't find smoewhere that quiet near where I live, I certainly don't have the body for bodypaint and little else and I'd quite like not to commit social suicide and end up all over the news...

Perhaps I just try and do something in my garden? But again living where I do it's not at all private, overlooked from all sides. The dead of night might have been an option but I do need to work so that'd ruin my work day, and I had agreed to 4 weeks of this, so that wasn't really an option either.

Then I thoguht about the task again. Something I have always said to people I've topped is 'don't just obey the rule or task you've been given, but the sentiment of it too'. Mistress Hellcat had been very understanding, there was no demand to be naked or wearing anything petplay related in the task, but still my gut instinct was to hide away. I can tell you from experience, that's not how the foxes round here act... they cross the road in broad daylight and really don't care.

But what could I do to push the limits I'd been given in a positive way? The decision was both hard and easy. Go to some quiet-ish woodland, find a quiet spot, and try my best to undertake the task. At lunchtime I headed out, dressed relatively normally, packing a fox mask and found myself a quiet clearing. Well I thoguht it was quiet, within a few minutes of getting there and surveying the area two walkers walked by - I think I looked really out of place so I decided to just take some nice landscape photos. Then a few minutes later a runner passed me. I could see quite far, so it was now or never as no one else could be seen.

I set up the phone camera and got about exploring the small clearing, pouncing on my imaginary? pray. Although the fear of being seen was huge (though logically thinking about it now, surely I was doing nothing illegal, just acting... weird?) it was an exciting few minutes. Interestingly, it wasn't sexual at all, instead it just felt very freeing - and tiring admitteldy (most foxes have younger legs than me ^.^*). I shot three videos that could be cut together and quickly scarpered from the area, only too aware of the mud all the way down my jeans from where I'd slipped a bit. 

As someone who has always seen petplay and kink as a means to an orgasm, today's task was very different for me but a very fun one. Don't get me wrong, I've undertaken non-sexual related kink activities as both a sub and top, but this felt very removed from both and yet totally within it. I guess despite going my whole life being terrified of what other people think of me, for those few minutes I really was a free fox just foolin' around. 

I look forward to seeing what Mistress Hellcat has in-store for me as we continue our journey.