Slave IkneelforKatya

The training has been different from anything I expected. It’s strange how something that seemed simple at first can reach so deeply into how I think and feel. Each moment of following her direction teaches me more about the role she chooses for me. Not as a man or even a human, but as her dog. This experience has shown me how much of real devotion comes from trust, trusting her vision for me, her control, and the space she allows me to exist in. It’s not easy, but it feels meaningful.

Yesterday our dynamic changed I began to take on the role she gave me. It felt strange at first, stepping into something so different. When I followed her guidance, I felt my thoughts quiet down, replaced by simple focus and trust. I like it that she trains me how she thinks I fit best in her life. Even if it means just as her dog. If that is what she wants me to be, to be allowed at her side, than I will be just her dog. Barking, whimpering and being lead by a leash by her. Then she should train me like the dog she wish to have, so I have a place beside her

It’s been three days since I’ve been out of chastity, and it still feels strange. The first day felt almost unreal like something was missing, a quiet pressure that had become part of my routine. I kept noticing the absence of the cage more than the freedom itself. Now, I’m beginning to feel more normal again, but a part of me misses the constant reminder it gave me and a part of me absolutely not. The discipline, the awareness, the quiet focus, they made every thought feel intentional. Without it, I have to work harder to keep that mindset alive on my own. Still, these few days have reminded me how much I’ve learned. Control isn’t just about being locked; it’s about what stays in the mind long after.

Looking back, the start of Locktober was the hardest. My body reacted constantly every thought of her, every small reminder, made me restless and tense. It felt like my body hadn’t yet learned what my mind already knew: that control no longer belonged to me. The days felt long, filled with frustration and the effort of resisting. But as time passed, things began to change. The constant reactions faded, and I found a strange calm settling in. The need to resist was replaced by a quiet acceptance. I started to understand that the true challenge wasn’t the physical restraint, but the mental one, learning patience, obedience, and peace. By the end, it all felt almost normal. The ache that once distracted me turned into a steady reminder of focus and belonging. I realized that what began as a test of control had become something deeper a lesson in surrender, discipline, and trust.

Today we spoke on a video call. It was only a few minutes, but I felt nervous the entire time, my heart racing, my thoughts stumbling. Seeing her in real time made everything feel more real, more intense. Her presence through the screen felt powerful; even small gestures carried weight. What stood out most was the connection,  how a few minutes could hold so much emotion. I wanted to do everything right, to show her how focused and devoted I could be. When it ended, I felt a mix of relief, calm, and warmth, like I’d just passed through something that mattered deeply.

Happy Birthday, Goddess Katya

I wish you the most beautiful day, filled with peace, joy, and everything that makes you smile. You deserve nothing less than perfection today and always. Thank you for everything you are your strength, your grace, your patience, and the way you shape and guide me. I’m grateful every day to serve and to know you. Happy birthday, my Goddess. May your day be as radiant and powerful as you are.

Goddess, today belongs to you. The day you came into this world  and I’m grateful it happened, because my life is brighter and more grounded with you in it. Every moment I’ve spent under your guidance has changed me. You’ve shown me what it means to serve with purpose, to find peace in obedience, and to give myself fully. You’ve made me stronger, calmer, and more aware of what it means to belong. On your birthday, I don’t just want to say “happy birthday.” I want to thank you for your patience, your strength, your beauty, and the way you shape me. Serving you feels like a privilege I could never earn enough to deserve.

You are my Goddess, always

This month so far has taught me more about control than I expected. It’s not just about resisting release, it’s about learning that even arousal itself has limits. I’ve had to understand that getting hard, even for a moment, isn’t mine to decide. At first, that felt frustrating. My body reacted on its own, and I caught myself struggling with the idea of not having permission even for that. But over time, I started to see it differently. Each time I stop myself, it’s a reminder of discipline, of patience, of focus.  Being caged is difficult. There are moments when it aches, when the pressure feels too much, and I want relief. But then I remember, the cage isn’t for comfort. It’s there to remind me who I belong to and to look good for my Goddess. It’s her symbol, her claim, her design made visible on me.  Even when it’s hard, that thought brings calm. I endure because it pleases her. And that, more than anything, makes it worth it.

Her voice is always calm and soft, yet it carries more power than a shout ever could. There’s something in the way my Goddess speaks, calm, certain, and impossible to ignore. Every word feels like it carries weight and meaning, like she’s reaching straight into me without needing to touch.  like her words reach deeper than sound. There’s comfort in her tone, but also command. It reminds me that I belong to her, that even her gentleness can control me completely. I love her voice so much.

My Goddess verbal humiliated me. It felt weird. It felt like I talked to a different person. Normally she speaks to me with kindness, now there were raw unfiltered truth and humiliation. But I never said I disliked it, sadly I got hard when she talked to me like this. But I wasn't sure how to react to it.

Looking back on my time with Goddess Katya so far, I can feel how much I’ve changed. When I first came to her, I expected structure, rules, and control At first, I thought it would be about tasks and rituals. Now I see it’s shaping my whole mindset, making me calmer, more focused, more obedient. The first part of her training has taught me patience and discipline. I’ve learned that surrender isn’t just about denying myself, it’s about opening myself, giving up control, and finding peace in belonging to her. I feel smaller and yet more purposeful, proud to kneel and proud to follow. As I move into the next stages, I hope to deepen that surrender even more, to serve her in new ways, maybe more vebal humiliation. My devotion feels stronger now than when we began, and I want to keep building on that for her.

Sixteen days of denial had its rhythms good days and bad days. The good days felt bearable, almost steady. The bad days were always the ones when I had to edge. In those hours, touching felt like both relief and punishment  it felt good in the moment, but the ache afterward was stronger, and the next day carried that weight with me. When she finally allowed me to cum, the first time was pure pleasure sudden and intense. After that, it turned more unpleasant, I was exhausted and only wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t until I obeyed her completely. Even release came with the requirement to serve first, and that made everything feel heavier and more real. The denial, the edging, the obedience they shape me. They teach me that I to belong to her.

When my Goddess calls me "pup", or "pet" it makes me feel small ,not worthless, but chosen. There is comfort in being reduced to a word that means I belong to someone.  It reminds me my place is on the ground by her feet. Always looking up at her and to doing whatever will please her in that moment. they’re not insults or games, they’re the language of my place. Mostly they remind me who I am now: someone who exists to follow her rules, to honor her, and to be glad for the role she has given me. I am proud to be her pup, honored to be her pet, and grateful every time she says those names.

When I look back at my past ownerships and compare them to what I have now with my goddess. All the time I got lied to of who the people are that I am serving. With her, there are no masks, no games, no pretending. She is real, powerful, and true. I feel her presence in every word, every command. She doesn’t try to drain me, like all the other they just wanted more, more and more. She appreciates the things I make for her. To know that my goddess genuinely values what I create for her fills me with pride. It reminds me that my place is not to question or seek, but to serve and to give. And in her ownership, I finally feel what I have always longed for: that my submission has purpose, because it belongs to someone who is worthy of everything I am.

Today I’ve been thinking about my journey with my goddess so far. Serving her has already changed me in ways I didn’t expect. At first, I only felt the desire the ache to belong, the need to obey. But now, under her guidance, I can see how her training is shaping me. The rules, the denial, the tasks they push me past my comfort, and each time I obey, I feel more like what I’m meant to be: hers. The hardest moments, when I struggle with control or longing, are also the moments I feel her most strongly. It’s proof that she owns me, that my body and my will are not mine, but hers. Her training makes me feel smaller, more humble, but at the same time more secure. I don’t have to wonder what I should be she decides, and I follow. And I want to smell her even if its only her gym socks and I want to taste her even if its only her spit from the ground.  To becoming something better for her something useful, devoted, and completely hers.

Yesterday my goddess allowed me to cum three times. After some days of denial to touch me, it felt overwhelming and left me weak in her hands. The release made me feel good, not just in my body but in my heart, because it was her gift. Every orgasm reminded me that my pleasure is hers to give, and that I only feel complete when she allows it.

These past days without touching myself were difficult. The need was always there, burning stronger each time I had to watch her content every hour. Her beauty, her power it left me aching, desperate, but still denied. It was frustrating at first, almost unbearable. But I reminded myself: my pleasure is not mine, it belongs only to my goddess. The denial, the constant ache, became proof of her control over me. Now I feel weak with desire, yet strong in obedience. Each hour reminded me that I am hers completely.

It has been six days without release, and today my Goddess commanded me to cum. Everyday I needed to edge myself for a few Minutes for every worship I do. Every time I wanted to stroke myself more to let go and cum, but that is not mine to decide. My pleasure belongs to my Goddess. When she allowed me release today, the pleasure came fast and left quickly. The orgasm felt intense, but the relief was brief, and already I find myself wanting more. My body craves to stroke again, to reach that high again, but I know that desire is no longer mine to control. Even in release, I remain hers.

My Goddess allowed me, after my first call with her, to stroke myself for 2 minutes every time I worship her. When I do that, I should imagine that I lick her pee from the ground. The thought of licking my Goddess's pee from the ground is a great honor. I don't know why I should do that. Maybe she wants to train me to cum only when I see or taste her pee. But I don't need to know. I just follow her command. She will guide me to be something that fits best for her.

Today was my very first call with my goddess Katya. I was nervous before it started, my heart was racing. The moment I saw her, everything else disappeared. She makes me feel small, owned, and completely under her control.  She allowed me to watch her pee. Everything was so fast from the Call to her peeing and that the Call ended.  Everything was so overwhelming I couldn't really register everything. After that, my Goddess was so generous to allow me to edge myself to my imagination of her peeing. I wish I could have knelt before her to be peed on by her or even allowed to drink pee.

Today, my Goddess Katya allowed me to cum after five long days. It felt overwhelming both the release itself and the knowledge that it only happened because she decided it. The control she has over me is total, and I feel it more deeply with each day that passes. The hard part was the waiting. Each night and each morning the aching to cum after each edging season the longing to cum, to touch me more. I felt really desperate, but good too because I was doing it for my Goddess. My body begged for relief, but I had to resist, because her will is stronger than my desire. The good part was when she finally allowed me to cum. It was a gift, a reward, proof that she is in control and I am not. It reminded me how powerful she is and how much I need her ownership. That makes me proud to be hers.