Slave IkneelforKatya

This month so far has taught me more about control than I expected. It’s not just about resisting release, it’s about learning that even arousal itself has limits. I’ve had to understand that getting hard, even for a moment, isn’t mine to decide. At first, that felt frustrating. My body reacted on its own, and I caught myself struggling with the idea of not having permission even for that. But over time, I started to see it differently. Each time I stop myself, it’s a reminder of discipline, of patience, of focus.  Being caged is difficult. There are moments when it aches, when the pressure feels too much, and I want relief. But then I remember, the cage isn’t for comfort. It’s there to remind me who I belong to and to look good for my Goddess. It’s her symbol, her claim, her design made visible on me.  Even when it’s hard, that thought brings calm. I endure because it pleases her. And that, more than anything, makes it worth it.

Her voice is always calm and soft, yet it carries more power than a shout ever could. There’s something in the way my Goddess speaks, calm, certain, and impossible to ignore. Every word feels like it carries weight and meaning, like she’s reaching straight into me without needing to touch.  like her words reach deeper than sound. There’s comfort in her tone, but also command. It reminds me that I belong to her, that even her gentleness can control me completely. I love her voice so much.

My Goddess verbal humiliated me. It felt weird. It felt like I talked to a different person. Normally she speaks to me with kindness, now there were raw unfiltered truth and humiliation. But I never said I disliked it, sadly I got hard when she talked to me like this. But I wasn't sure how to react to it.

Looking back on my time with Goddess Katya so far, I can feel how much I’ve changed. When I first came to her, I expected structure, rules, and control At first, I thought it would be about tasks and rituals. Now I see it’s shaping my whole mindset, making me calmer, more focused, more obedient. The first part of her training has taught me patience and discipline. I’ve learned that surrender isn’t just about denying myself, it’s about opening myself, giving up control, and finding peace in belonging to her. I feel smaller and yet more purposeful, proud to kneel and proud to follow. As I move into the next stages, I hope to deepen that surrender even more, to serve her in new ways, maybe more vebal humiliation. My devotion feels stronger now than when we began, and I want to keep building on that for her.

Sixteen days of denial had its rhythms good days and bad days. The good days felt bearable, almost steady. The bad days were always the ones when I had to edge. In those hours, touching felt like both relief and punishment  it felt good in the moment, but the ache afterward was stronger, and the next day carried that weight with me. When she finally allowed me to cum, the first time was pure pleasure sudden and intense. After that, it turned more unpleasant, I was exhausted and only wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t until I obeyed her completely. Even release came with the requirement to serve first, and that made everything feel heavier and more real. The denial, the edging, the obedience they shape me. They teach me that I to belong to her.

When my Goddess calls me "pup", or "pet" it makes me feel small ,not worthless, but chosen. There is comfort in being reduced to a word that means I belong to someone.  It reminds me my place is on the ground by her feet. Always looking up at her and to doing whatever will please her in that moment. they’re not insults or games, they’re the language of my place. Mostly they remind me who I am now: someone who exists to follow her rules, to honor her, and to be glad for the role she has given me. I am proud to be her pup, honored to be her pet, and grateful every time she says those names.

When I look back at my past ownerships and compare them to what I have now with my goddess. All the time I got lied to of who the people are that I am serving. With her, there are no masks, no games, no pretending. She is real, powerful, and true. I feel her presence in every word, every command. She doesn’t try to drain me, like all the other they just wanted more, more and more. She appreciates the things I make for her. To know that my goddess genuinely values what I create for her fills me with pride. It reminds me that my place is not to question or seek, but to serve and to give. And in her ownership, I finally feel what I have always longed for: that my submission has purpose, because it belongs to someone who is worthy of everything I am.

Today I’ve been thinking about my journey with my goddess so far. Serving her has already changed me in ways I didn’t expect. At first, I only felt the desire the ache to belong, the need to obey. But now, under her guidance, I can see how her training is shaping me. The rules, the denial, the tasks they push me past my comfort, and each time I obey, I feel more like what I’m meant to be: hers. The hardest moments, when I struggle with control or longing, are also the moments I feel her most strongly. It’s proof that she owns me, that my body and my will are not mine, but hers. Her training makes me feel smaller, more humble, but at the same time more secure. I don’t have to wonder what I should be she decides, and I follow. And I want to smell her even if its only her gym socks and I want to taste her even if its only her spit from the ground.  To becoming something better for her something useful, devoted, and completely hers.

Yesterday my goddess allowed me to cum three times. After some days of denial to touch me, it felt overwhelming and left me weak in her hands. The release made me feel good, not just in my body but in my heart, because it was her gift. Every orgasm reminded me that my pleasure is hers to give, and that I only feel complete when she allows it.

These past days without touching myself were difficult. The need was always there, burning stronger each time I had to watch her content every hour. Her beauty, her power it left me aching, desperate, but still denied. It was frustrating at first, almost unbearable. But I reminded myself: my pleasure is not mine, it belongs only to my goddess. The denial, the constant ache, became proof of her control over me. Now I feel weak with desire, yet strong in obedience. Each hour reminded me that I am hers completely.

It has been six days without release, and today my Goddess commanded me to cum. Everyday I needed to edge myself for a few Minutes for every worship I do. Every time I wanted to stroke myself more to let go and cum, but that is not mine to decide. My pleasure belongs to my Goddess. When she allowed me release today, the pleasure came fast and left quickly. The orgasm felt intense, but the relief was brief, and already I find myself wanting more. My body craves to stroke again, to reach that high again, but I know that desire is no longer mine to control. Even in release, I remain hers.

My Goddess allowed me, after my first call with her, to stroke myself for 2 minutes every time I worship her. When I do that, I should imagine that I lick her pee from the ground. The thought of licking my Goddess's pee from the ground is a great honor. I don't know why I should do that. Maybe she wants to train me to cum only when I see or taste her pee. But I don't need to know. I just follow her command. She will guide me to be something that fits best for her.

Today was my very first call with my goddess Katya. I was nervous before it started, my heart was racing. The moment I saw her, everything else disappeared. She makes me feel small, owned, and completely under her control.  She allowed me to watch her pee. Everything was so fast from the Call to her peeing and that the Call ended.  Everything was so overwhelming I couldn't really register everything. After that, my Goddess was so generous to allow me to edge myself to my imagination of her peeing. I wish I could have knelt before her to be peed on by her or even allowed to drink pee.

Today, my Goddess Katya allowed me to cum after five long days. It felt overwhelming both the release itself and the knowledge that it only happened because she decided it. The control she has over me is total, and I feel it more deeply with each day that passes. The hard part was the waiting. Each night and each morning the aching to cum after each edging season the longing to cum, to touch me more. I felt really desperate, but good too because I was doing it for my Goddess. My body begged for relief, but I had to resist, because her will is stronger than my desire. The good part was when she finally allowed me to cum. It was a gift, a reward, proof that she is in control and I am not. It reminded me how powerful she is and how much I need her ownership. That makes me proud to be hers.